Day One, Take Twenty Eight

Posted: October 19, 2013 in Uncategorized

I drank last night.  Yep, all of this talk about a brave new beginning and courage, and what did I do?  The excitement and the stress of the finality of it all grew in me as the day went on.  I left work to pick up my son.  This is the trip where I always stopped for my drink of choice.

In my head, I had a battle going on.  I truly did not want to stop.  I wanted to be successful.  I wanted to write my post tonight about day two and how wonderful and proud I felt.  But the urges welled inside of me and it was almost as if the disease itself turned my steering wheel right into the drive through of a liquor store.

I felt shame as I drove off with my purchase but relief at the same time that I could have a drink and forget about it all.  However, I did something last night that was very important.  After drinking, I sent a text to one of my new recovery friends and told her what I had done.  And then this morning I woke up, headache and all, and posted in the BFB about my mistake.

I knew that being honest and accountable to others was a must.  So I sit here tonight, sober, getting ready to watch a movie with my husband, knowing that tomorrow, I can be honest and proud.

I turned The Bubble Hour podcast on through my Iphone and listened to it in my car as I whizzed right past the liquor store today.  I then got a text from another of my new recovery friends letting me know that she was struggling today and was nervous about some errands she had to run.  After talking to me, she listened to The Bubble Hour in her car and she also drove right by the liquor store.

I highly suggest that during trigger moments, you turn on a voice, whether it be the ladies from The Bubble Hour, or some other resource, that is good for your mind.  I did that, and now I can say that I know that tomorrow will be day two, and that’s something to be proud of.

  1. Don’t beat yourself up! We’ve all been there. Some before we joined this blogsphere and others after. But we’ve ALL done it many times before something clicked and we realized a new strength inside that took us forward past day two, twenty, ninety-nine, and onward. We’re her for you-just ask!

  2. Lynda Otvos says:

    Hang in there, I saw that you are still being successful and for that you have reason to be proud. Keeping a good thought as I hold you up to the Universal Healing Power.

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