Day One, Take Twenty Seven

Posted: October 17, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

I rolled over this morning with my alarm screaming into my ear, as if were saying, “Wake up!  You failed again!  Go ahead and lie to yourself this morning, make more empty promises that we both know you can’t keep!”  Last night, after a few days sober, I convinced myself that I should drink one last time.  Ha!  If you are wondering what could be funny about that, it’s the fact that this is a cycle I go through quite often.

Today is different.  Why?  Because I made some very courageous steps this morning that I have never done before.  I sent a long text to my husband that said something like this:

“I am an alcoholic. I am not ready to talk about it, but I want you to know that I need to make some changes, which include not being around it for a while.  I think that our lives will be richer and happier this way.”

It took everything I had in me to hit send.  He replied shortly after telling me that he would support me in any way he could and that he was there when I was ready to talk.  I then logged onto the Booze Free Brigade and admitted my mistake.  I also asked for friends to help.  I got an overwhelming response of ladies giving me their phone numbers and telling me to text or call them anytime I felt that I needed to.  I have five other women struggling with the same addiction that I can reach in seconds to talk.

The last thing I did this morning that is very new and frightening for me is to start this blog.  In the least, I hope it helps me stay accountable and becomes a place for me to openly express the truth of what I am going through.  I hope that it can also become a vehicle to help others in some way.

Welcome to my last day one.  Welcome to my new life.

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Comments
  1. Welcome to our wonderful, compassionate, society of soberistas! I saw your post on UnPickled and just had to click in. I also made my debut into sobersphere through UnPickled 130 days ago. Then found Belle at Tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking. Then found so many more. Wow…these blogs are so inspiring. Keep writing, keep reading, keep sober, my friend.

  2. GO YOU! Welcome to the big wide wonderful booze-free world. I kicked the booze habit almost a year ago with the amazing support of the sober blogging community. Thanks for sharing your story.

  3. You’ve done the brave part today, jumping in. Now it’s just about staying here, one day at a time. Lots of support out here for you; welcome!

  4. thirstystill says:

    Best wishes in this. I’m a new non-drinker too, and most days I can’t say enough about how much better life is without drinking. (Then some days I want a drink, but holding out for a while makes that moment pass!) For me, blogging and jumping in with comments and paying attention to this every day has been a big help. That plus a whole lot of sparkling water. Sounds like you’re doing all the right stuff. Keep it up, and keep in touch with the fabulous online sober blogging community!

  5. Welcome, it’s a great place-sobriety. Changed my life so much the old me is now unrecognizable. And that’s sincerely for the best. And it will be for you too. Hang in there. Holding you up to the Universal Healing Power.

  6. bizi says:

    thank you for posting, nice blog!
    bizi

  7. UnPickled says:

    A big hug an floats of love as you embark on the next chapter of your life! Xo, UnP

  8. Azure Sky says:

    Enjoy every morning by embracing the gratitude you will have for waking up sober and enjoy every night you fall asleep by acknowledging yourself for feeling the real emotions of day without escaping. I also started a blog. It has been a little over two months for me. Writing has been extremely therapeutic. Congratulations on your decision to love and get to know yourself!

  9. Laurie says:

    I just want you to know that you CAN do this and that life is OH SO MUCH better when sober. Really. I was on a rollercoaster for years with drinking and knowing I should stop but not having the courage – ugh! I’m sending you much love and strength and positive energy.

  10. Go girl. I am up to day five and am finally starting to sleep all night long!!!! It feels amazing to be not so tired all the time. I have a long way to go too………

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